You are a super awesome person and I’m the lucky one because I get to be your friend. Right from the start after we became friends and that I visited your house, I knew that something was wrong; however, my intuition was suppressed by your excuses and explanations for each and everything. Still, I felt the pain hidden behind your false smile. I would like you to understand that your expressions never coincide along with your explanations even these days. Through this letter, I would like to help you figure out what it means to be a woman of integrity and strength.
I am attentive to the actual fact that your mother- in- law abuses you verbally and emotionally on a daily basis for each single issue within the house. She tells lies to your husband and ignites fight/ arguments between each of you, thereby making your life miserable. And since your husband is such a lot influenced by your mommy that he agrees to no matter wrong she says. This is a situation in which you are being abused emotionally and psychologically. Your partner is neglecting and invalidating your thoughts and feelings.
“It is strange how you have been living in such an atmosphere and assume that it’s normal. The feeling of ‘false consciousness’ is the perpetrator behind such ideas. You perceive it as your duty to go through the atrocities and appease your husband in every way possible. You have accepted the situation as your sealed fate. I can understand that this hesitancy on your part is partly due to the burden of expectation that the society has from a lady.
Dear friend language is the tool of affection and also the weapon of hatred. Your silence can alter everybody else to continue with abuse. The abuse being emotional or verbal shouldn’t build a distinction because either one is simply as damaging. You’re a special person who doesn’t deserve this; your soul doesn’t deserve it either. Create cleaner lines between what you’re getting and what you deserve. Don’t waste another minute of your life simply expecting that God can lead some day. Don’t let anyone ever dull your sparkle.
Please know abuse doesn’t heal if you don’t do anything; it simply keeps getting worse. Believe in yourself come forward and raise your voice. Don’t tolerate calumny, criticism, and humiliation for the sake of affection. Don’t condone bad behavior; you owe yourself the love that you just so freely offer to people. Take off of orthodox sentiments from your heart. Don’t finish your life waiting to be rescued, there’s nothing more satisfying than rescuing yourself.
There’s a little voice inside each of us that tells us when we are not being true to ourselves. We should listen to this voice and stand up for self-respect. I know it’s troublesome to get the energy to plan the way to protest when you are living day to day just making an attempt to not provoke an angry outburst. However, you’ll be able to screw. Simply take the primary step: don’t hide: get help: let others help you.
I know that things seem hopeless right now, but I promise there’s hope. You have the right/power to make changes in your life and live with dignity in your own home, free from fear of abuse. You’re a precious person and you deserve to be treated with respect. Don’t hurt yourself. Hang in there – you’re not alone. I am always by your side. You have got to break the silence, stand up for yourself and speak against those that seek to keep us bound in fear and dread.
It’s time to speak up My Friend!
More Power To You…
Note: As I went through Meena Kandasamy’s article on TOI I was moved by her boldness and fearlessness. I would like to read her book to understand what she went through and what amount of courage and will power she had to take wise decisions.
Just go through this book–When I Hit You